Why You Should Greet Your Dog When You Get Home
There’s a piece of advice that floats around in dog training circles that sounds good in theory but falls apart in practice:
“Ignore your dog when you come home until they’ve calmed down.”
It’s advice that’s been repeated so many times it’s almost taken as truth. But when we stop and think about it — emotionally, behaviourally, and relationally — it doesn’t hold up.
Because when you walk through the front door, your dog isn’t just being excitable for the sake of it. They’re seeking information, reassurance, and safety. And ignoring them does the exact opposite of what they need.
Dogs Don’t Just Want Attention — They Want Information
When anyone comes through the front door — whether it’s you, a guest, or the postie — your dog’s first instinct is to gather information: Who’s here? What’s happening? Are we safe? How do I respond?
Until they have those answers, they won’t feel secure. So they do what dogs do best — they seek information.
That might look like jumping up, sniffing, barking, pacing, or following you around. None of this is “naughty” behaviour; it’s communication. It’s their way of saying: “Please tell me what’s going on.”
When we ignore them, we don’t reduce their arousal — we extend their uncertainty. And uncertainty breeds anxiety.
Calm Acknowledgement Builds Predictability
When you calmly greet your dog, you’re not “rewarding bad behaviour.” You’re meeting an emotional need.
By offering calm acknowledgment — a gentle hello, eye contact, a hand on the chest, or even a quiet word — you’re saying, “You’re safe. I see you. Everything’s okay.”
Over time, this consistent feedback builds predictability. Your dog learns what to expect every time you come home. And with predictability comes emotional safety — the foundation of calm, confident behaviour.
The key isn’t to ignore excitement. It’s to co-regulate it.
Yes, it might look messy at first — calming an emotional being always does. But with time, consistency, and predictability, their emotional response will settle because their need for reassurance is being met.
The Absurdity of Ignoring Those We Love
Imagine if, after daycare, I came home and my two-year-old daughter ran up to me with joy — calling out, laughing, arms wide — and I just stood there silently until she “settled down.”
It would be absurd. She’d be confused, hurt, and probably cry.
That kind of emotional dismissal wouldn’t calm her — it would make her anxious. It would teach her that her joy is unwelcome and that she can’t rely on me for comfort or safety.
Yet this is often what we’re told to do to our dogs.
Our dogs are emotional beings, not robots. They look to us for cues about safety, just like children do. When we respond predictably, calmly, and warmly, we help them regulate their emotions — not by ignoring them, but by guiding them.
Co-Regulation Is the Long Game
Co-regulation — the process of helping another being regulate their emotional state through calm, consistent presence — is one of the most powerful tools we have in behaviour change.
If we’re frustrated, chaotic, or inconsistent, our dogs will mirror that.
If we’re steady, calm, and predictable, they’ll start to reflect that back too.
This doesn’t mean letting your dog jump all over you unchecked — it means teaching through connection.
You can greet your dog warmly while maintaining boundaries: step back if needed, guide them to sit, use calm body language — but stay emotionally available.
Over time, they’ll learn that calm behaviour gets calm connection, and that security comes not from control, but from clarity.
The Takeaway
Ignoring your dog when you walk through the door doesn’t teach calm — it teaches confusion.
You Can:
Sit with them
Give them pats & massage
Use calm tones in your voice and avoid high pitch ones
Give them something to chew
Help their nervous system relax
Greeting them calmly, predictably, and warmly builds trust, reduces anxiety, and lays the groundwork for emotional stability.
Because what your dog really wants when you get home isn’t attention — it’s information.
They want to know: Are you safe? Am I safe? Are we okay?
Your calm acknowledgment answers all of that at once.
And in the long run, that’s what changes behaviour — not silence, not correction, but connection.
👉 Want to learn how to build emotional safety and calm connection with your dog?
You can read this full blog — plus free guides, workshops, and courses — inside our Free Dog Training Starter Guide, powered by Bondi Behaviourist and Canine Caregivers.
— Ian
Bondi Behaviourist
A healthy dog is a happy dog, and a happy dog is great to live with.
